In the year since releasing Complex Silence 15, I’ve gone through a personal crucible. Extreme emotional pain.
Lest you think I am going to cry and moan, don’t fret. It seems my emotional pain, when I bear down on it and really feel it and sit with it, drives me to creativity. Of course, I’m not unique among artists, writers, poets, or musicians. Some might even dare to call my emotions an obsession, but I still have both ears and all my fingers.
Professionals assure me that processing emotional pain, rather than drowning it or denying it, is healthy and leads to healing. In that case, perhaps the music recorded here is a personal testament of emotional survival. I don’t know yet for certain. I do know that I process my most difficult and painful feelings through my poetry and my music and what you’ll hear was definitely born of fire, tears, ruminating, and trying to make sense of something that still doesn’t make sense to me and probably never will. Apparently, all I can do is create poetry and music out of it and here’s the proof.
I was raised to believe that ultimately, something good and wonderful and beautiful comes from every bad, sad, wrong, unwanted, and unjust turn of events. As Bob Dylan expressed it: “Behind every beautiful thing, there’s been some kind of pain.”
I believe this release conveys my sense of profound loss and anguish, but I also hope it conveys my faith that love and forgiveness, which I still offer, can prevail, even in the face of their opposites given in return. Honestly, the two extremes struggle in my heart as well, because my heart is human and as such, it is filled with flaws, contradictions, and paradoxes.
In my case, my tangle of human emotions produces tangible results I can give to the world. Even though it’s music born of pain, I hope you find Complex Silence 23 beneficial, beautiful, uplifting, and most of all, healing as a source of listening enjoyment–from one human being struggling to evolve, to another.
“i feel that (false and true are merely to know)
Love only has ever been,is,and will ever be,So”
XAIPE 33
E.E. Cummings
Complex Silence 23 at Archive.org
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